Review of Tethered by Ross Jeffery Written by Dan Stubbings

Book Synopsis

Tethered explores the fractured relationship of a father and son. Each story is told with unflinching and honest prose that is both hard hitting and heartrending. These stories delve into themes of toxic masculinity, love, hope, despair, domestic violence, sexuality, weakness and overcoming oppression. Tethered also asks the bigger question of ‘do we ever escape the harm our parents do to us; or do we go through life marred and influenced from our upbringing.

Review

In Tethered Ross has a produced a glorious memoir on the struggles and triumphs of fatherhood. Every story flows like a river connecting all the possible dramas and tragedies a father can suffer throughout their lifetime. As I turned the pages I smiled, cried, and laughed. The reason being is because some of the stories I was reading were reflections of my own memories with my father, and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride that my father took the time to make those memories and teach me some valuable life lessons.

I laughed as Ross wonderfully examined the shift in the father and son relationship. That moment were you realise that all the arguments and disagreements that you had with your dad over the years were lessons. That your dad was right all along. I couldn’t stop giggling because I am going through this phrase of my life right now. I found myself effortlessly falling into the simplicity of Ross’s writing in presenting this daunting and complex subject. Not for a moment did his writing feel forced. I felt as if I was viewing my own life. I was constantly thinking I have had this same conversation with my dad and had the same feelings. I couldn’t help but smile.

Don’t be fooled however that this collection is all feel good moments. This collection also showed the more sinister sides of fatherhood. Ross wasn’t afraid to search the dark corners that can be hidden behind closed doors. He was able to explore both the external and internal pain for both the child and the parent. One example of this being done through the eyes of the child. Is were Ross shows their father continuously missing important sporting events, and them having to endure the smiling faces of their friends parents, the excuses from their mother as to why their father is not showing up. In turn this causes them to not be able to handle the distress caused. To the other end of the spectrum were he discusses the father’s internal struggles of trying to be the best parent possible despite the odds being stacked against them. Ross displayed both sides of the argument to traumatising effect.

Some of the stories make for uncomfortable reading at times. Forcing you realise that some of your friends, or yourself have had these experiences, and you haven’t known how to handle the emotions presented. Therefore you have hidden away or reacted with rage. The stories as they progress make you feel as if you are dissecting every interaction you ever had with your parents and friends. At times this collection is a punch to the gut. Weirdly it feels good as you dive into the weirdness of your own life.

In this collection Ross asks the reader about the many faces of parenting. Drawing on every last drop of blood, sweat, and tears to make you reflect on all of life’s lessons. Whether you’re a parent or not. This collection will teach you something to take forward into tomorrow. Through every word in this deeply personal collection Ross takes the reader on an emotional journey. Be ready to be haunted once you leave. My only critic is in some stories I would of liked more depth. As unfortunately some stories lacked the emotional pull of the others.

It receives 4 stars. An impressive examination of what it truly means to be a parent. Highly recommended.

I received a copy from the author in exchange for an honest review. This doesn’t affect my views.